Jade's Birth
Planned Unmedicated Meets Real World
I just wanted to share some real life stuff that kind of got in the way of my ideal birth plan. I was planning to do the whole all natural birth with no meds, minimal intrusions, the whole gamut. I even stayed home until I was having contractions 3 minutes apart. I was in labor for 36 hours. My water broke at the beginning of labor, so Doctors were paranoid about infection, even though I was on an antibiotic IV and being monitored, and all vitals were normal! The nurse on call at the time started to flip out that I hadn't made enough progress so she really started to mess with me! She caused such duress that my contractions halted for a couple of hours. Then she ripped open the amniotic sac. Two hours after that, she said we were going to have to either go with pitocin or end up getting a C-section. Figuring that pitocin was the lesser of the two evils I was faced with, I gave in. I ended up getting an epidural and pitocin IV and a few hours later I had an 18 minute long delivery that shocked the Doctor.
I am not going to lie and say that things were going hunky-dory up until the meds; in fact, labor was not the ecstatic, religious experience that it was made out to be in the countless material I read and watched before hand. It was sheer hell! The short delivery kind of made up for the drawn out labor, but I feel like certain things definitely exacerbated the situation and I am somewhat bitter about it. For one, like I said before, I waited to go to the hospital. Unfortunately I made 2 critical mistakes.
The first was not eating a hearty meal before checking into the hospital. They immediately restricted me to a clear liquids diet, which, after 36 hours of fasting, definitely takes its toll on your stamina, (not even taking into account the last thing I ate was dinner the night before checking in) This is about like starving yourself to prep for running a marathon! It defies logic! Secondly, we were caught in morning rush hour traffic, and I'm sure that contributed greatly to the "pucker factor", regressing the progress I had made in my dilation throughout the night.
The check in factor was also debilitating. I went to Mary Birch, which is world renowned for their baby friendly practices. That being said, the pre-delivery aspect of my experience there was still quite lacking, in my opinion. They grilled me for the same information about 5 times. I had read that cerebral stimulation like asking you all of your back history and filling out forms is absolutely detrimental to the labor process. Not to mention, there was a nasty nurse who was berating the receptionist for trying to accommodate me. Not only did I not need that kind of negativity in that vulnerable state, but it was worse due to the fact that I felt like I messed up or got the poor girl in trouble!
On top of it all, I was already getting regular checkups there because I was almost 2 weeks overdue. (I'm glad it didn't get to the point where they were going to schedule an induction!) Despite the fact that they already had me in their system, had all of my info, and had asked me all the same questions just days earlier, they acted like I had just walked in off the street! What angered me about that the most was that they had me scan my fingerprints in their computer when I started the checkups, so I thought that when I came in to deliver, I was going to just scan my hand through a device and forgo getting the 21 Question treatment!
Another contributing factor was that I was immediately put on an IV. I was always hooked up! If I wanted to get up and walk around, there was a big to do about it and I had to push an IV stand around with me.
There was also conflicting info between the nurses on staff. One said "well your fine for at least the first 48 hours after your water breaks, so don't stress, things will happen when they're ready." The next nurse on rotation was the one that panicked when she didn't think I was dilating fast enough for her schedule, and said that they weren't even allowing me 48 hours to progress on my own before intervening.
Am I glad that I got the epidural and the pitocin? Yes, because at that point, the obstacles that were hindering my natural labor progression had already taken their toll on me, and both my partner and I were fighting extreme fatigue; at one point I let him check out and fall asleep on the couch while I remained dealing with my painful contractions on my own. I am so grateful I did not have to subject myself to a C-section to get through it!
Did I wish I could have gone through with the natural childbirth of my dreams? Yes! I feel like I failed. In fact, looking back on the whole experience, I can't remember the pain. What I do remember is how sad and defeated I felt after the negative interaction with the controlling nurse. Even now it makes me cry all over again if I think about it too long.
Don't get me wrong; Mary Birch was wonderful in so many ways! They let me hold my daughter immediately, even nurse, and we had skin to skin for a good hour or two before they took her to start doing their standard routine of tests and what not. I had to sign a waiver so they wouldn't put the antibiotic goop in her eyes, and would wait until the next day before doing the K injection. I wanted her first hours of experience in the world to be peaceful, not traumatizing. That was the one aspect of my whole birth plan that did actually come to fruition, thank God!
All in all, I am OK. My daughter is OK. I have no medical conditions as a result of the birth process. In fact, I only had one stitch as a result of the minor perineal tearing. I got treated by one of the most progressive birthing hospitals in the country. I don't have postpartum depression or PTSD from the experience ... My bond with my daughter couldn't be stronger!
I guess the lesson is even if you have what are considered "ideal" conditions, and have the best intentions and plans in mind, things still don't turn out the way you expect. It is what it is. I can't change what happened. Maybe no amount of preparation would have changed the outcome. Real life happens! All we can do is learn from the experience and move on with our lives.
...She was worth every moment of those 36 agonizing hours!
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